Fourth Jump (Skullgirls) Part 2

It Took Six Years and Many Lawsuits Later, but I Finally Pissed Them Off

            “I never thought that I would get annoyed by running into violence ten to twenty times in a day”, I muttered to myself as I continued to fill the bottles that I purchase from Little Innsmouth every few weeks. I have tried so hard to stay at home for extended periods of time… All to avoid the constant influx of people attempting to attack me. It was so bad one month that Meddy actually passed out from using her ability too often.

            Meddy was currently asleep, resting while I used my endless bottle of alcohol to pay my endless bills… No matter how much I made, I could only live comfortably for four out of seven days each week. At least I had a comfortable house. “Hmm… At least I am staying out of the Medici’s business… Wait… Didn’t I get attacked- shit.” I stated firmly, closing the one eye that I still had full control of for the moment. I had been attacked just a week ago by a full gang of mafia-looking bastards… Knocked out three and broke the legs of the fourth to try and make a point not to come after me.

            At least they haven’t sent anyone, right? Because I thought such a thing, there was a small knock on the door. I climbed up to my feet and, after reaching over to grab my katana, made my way over toward the door. “Meddy… Wake up. We have company.” With a small grown from the parasite, my right eye opened up and glanced around a little bit. ‘Oh, again? Can’t we just have a chance to rest…?’
            “Nope. Not for another few years.” I commented just as I opened the door, being mindful enough to keep my sword in view. Considering the fact that it was very obvious that I had a parasite, I didn’t bother hiding it… If they planned on attacking me, it would be because of Meddy. At the door, there was the one person I feared from the Medici besides their assassin… Cerebella.

            She was spinning her hat, which was still in its smaller form, around on one of her fingers. At least she was smiling and wasn’t one to kill without regret. Granted, her living weapon can physically crush people without issue. “You… Need a longer dress. I apologize for such an insult, but I am sure that you are not here for polite conversation.” As I spoke, I Meddy was looking around… I could tell, considering I could see what she was looking at. First the area behind the shorter woman, then the area immediately around me, and then just stared straight at Vice-Versa. Now, this wouldn’t be too bad… except for the fact that my other eye was not moving with her, so the eye she had control of most of the time was simply moving of its own accord.

            Cerebella raised her shoulders up in a small shrug before bringing her hands together at her waist. While my little insult didn’t faze her, she made no attempt to correct me about the conversation aspect. ‘May I come in? I have a message from Lorenzo Medici himself!’ I let out a small sigh and took a small sip from my bottle of rum before speaking. I was half-sure that, by this point, I was probably an alcoholic, but… it didn’t really matter at this point. “You may not simply because I don’t want to pay for any damages. I am already up to my hairline in debt. Would you like a drink?” I offered with a slight smile, holding the bottle of alcohol out to the tanned woman. I was even kind enough to change it to an apple cider with a small thought.

            While my tone and actions weren’t angry, she wasn’t exactly too happy to deal with me from her quickly souring expression. “I do apologize for my behavior... I am constantly under attack for everything from having a parasite to lollygagging for two minutes and even just because my name starts with an ‘A’. You can imagine that I my patience is starting to wear thin after seven years of such a thing.” I tried to explain as the woman took the bottle away to take her own sip and hand it back over to me. ‘Cider? Like things a little sweet, hmm?’

            “Nah… I prefer things made out of something sweet. Rum is more my style.” I stated, Medusa’s eye closing into a complete glare as, for the entire conversation, I hadn’t paid her any attention and now I was doing something that could be classified as flirting to some degree. “Medusa… Say ‘hi’.” I stated to try and calm her down, but, instead, Cerebella was suddenly encased in stone along with her hat. I let out a sharp huff and pushed the shaking statue off of my porch and followed after it, sprinting toward the middle of the street (I was mindful to close my door), just to get away from my house and into sight of multiple people. Going to make an example out of this whole situation to try and get people to stop attacking me… Won’t work, but it is worth a shot.

            I turned around just in time to see that Cerebella statue to explode in a spectacular display of rock and newly-made gravel going in all directions, her hat now active with those gigantic arms held up and ready to go. I drew my katana and tossed away the scabbard before realizing one mistake that I had already made… I forgot to put down my rum. I set the bottle on my hip with the string that was tied to it as I spoke. “Now… We can fight and you can continue to prove that the Medici are nothing but well-dressed thugs or we can put our weapons down and have a drink.” I stated, Meddy calling out ‘Take the former you short-skirted, panty-showing wench!’, which only caused me to let out a small sigh and hang my head for a moment. “Meddy… No. No insulting the opponents this time.” I stated with a sharp huff.

            ‘Lies and slander! The Medici are kind people!’ Cerebella called out before using Vice-Versa to propel herself forward and slightly up into the air. With a small roll, Vice-Versa’s fists came together above her head and then down into the concrete. The reason that it hit the concrete was the fact that I had the chance to hop back to avoid the massive, cupped fists of the living weapon. To make matters worse, as small bits of stone flew into the air, the hat’s arms planted themselves and, with a spin along the living weapon’s body to kick out with her bladed heels.

            I bent straight back at the knee, Medusa stretching around the right side of my head to catch my body, propping me up so that I may parry the knives as they came down to try and correct herself, as well as get another strike in at my body. The circus performer spun right back around, Meddy dropping me down as she did. My upper back hit the ground and I rolled back, avoiding the acrobatic woman’s tertiary strike and climbing up to my feet in the same instant. “If they were kind people, why would they send you against someone?! Granted, I broke the guy’s legs… but, they attacked first. I simply wanted to be left alone!” I called out in a rather melodramatic manner… A hint of it was true annoyance and anger after seven full years of being attacked at all hours of the day, every day.

            Cerebella charged toward me with an angry growl at my constant and anger-filled questioning of her “family”, Meddy coming right back around as I took a new stance. I actually, for once, used both hands to grip the hilt of Muichimonji, bringing the blade to a diagonal position across my chest, keeping it close with the hilt held up high and the blade down. My legs were spread, the left pushed forward and the right held back in accordance with positioning of my sword.

            There was a single move that I had actually practiced with Meddy and I did not want this to keep going simply because of the growing crowd… I knew that the Medici would be nearby just in case that Cerebella should fall. “Meddy… Get ready…” I stated before I was forced to push back to balance on my back leg, my blade coming down to parry (More guide away than truly parry.) a blow from the living weapon, my leg snapping out into a side kick as I did in the hopes of catching her. That blasted hat left her able to guard herself, Cerebella bringing her hands up to not only block, but catch my leg. With quick thinking, Medusa sprang out down to the ground, coiling up to create a base before pushing off. As this occurred, I brought my other leg up and out into a surprise second kick toward her chin.

            It was a success, but as soon as she moved back, I dropped to the ground with a small thud, Meddy pushing to try and at least get me into a roll. We were both too slow and before I knew realized it, my legs were grabbed by Vice-Versa and I went right into the concrete once… twice… three times, each harder than the last before being “casually” tossed into the trunk of a nearby tree.

            I laid there for a moment, letting the shock settle while one of my more recent abilities took care of the pain. Meddy was busy trying to get me up as Cerebella approached. ‘Message delivered… anything else? If you’re awake.’ My advisory stated with a smug grin. I reached back to grab one of the lower-hanging branches and forced myself up to my feet without too much effort… Though, I think that I had a few broken ribs and chipped bones just about everywhere else. Thankfully, my ability to ignore pain made sure that such things mattered not to me.

“Yeah… Just one thing.” I muttered as I took a few steps forward till I was within about eight feet, Cerebella obviously on guard as I was moving as if I was at least not in as bad of a condition as I truly was. I retook my previous stance, Meddy blinking a few times as she looked from me to Cere a few times. “Meddy… We’re doing it.”

‘Stop while you’re still in one piece! I egged her on, but you don’t need to get yourself killed!’ Medusa practically shouted into my ear, but I simply shifted my feet and planted them a little more firmly. “I said… We’re doing it.”

I remained where I stood, my eyes narrowing as I did what I could to suppress my emotions and focus more on the task at hand. I still had that one issue… I had so much difficulty striking in melee with full force. Just because I could hurt her and had to as to prevent a repeat situation, I didn’t truly want to. ‘Very well. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind seeing this.’ Is all I heard from Medusa before the motions began.

Cerebella charged once more, both arms of Vice-Versa extending out toward me. “Stay still!” Medusa glanced down and encased one of the woman’s legs to cause her to stumble forward from the sudden weight and inability to move her leg from the knee-down. “Disable!” As she stumbled, I stepped forward, ducking underneath the first arm. Meddy’s gaze moved down to my blade to sheath it in the same, generic stone so that I could bring it down to the side and into the elbow of Vice-Versa’s other arm and, just after, I dropped my katana to free up my hands.

With a sharp gasp, she started to pull back to try and get at least some space so that she could free her leg, but it was in vain at this point. I brought my left hand up to grab her by the side of her jaw, my fingers digging into the soft spot right behind the base of the air to keep her from pulling away and to, at the same time, cause intense pain and force her to stay still. “Crash!” My other arm shifted into its malfested state, the digits balling into a fist before coming forth into the bridge of Cerebella’s nose. She went flying a few feet back, her body half-flipping so that she slammed face-first into the ground before finally coming to a stop.

            With a small sigh, I transformed my arm back into its previous state, the fingers closing around the bottle on hip so that I could bring it up and take a long sip of my drink. “And drink… stupid shonen attack that requires me to say every action.” I stepped over to grab my sword and pick it up off the ground, the stone falling away as, recently, Meddy and I had figured out how to free whatever she entraps. “You alright, Cerebella!? Didn’t want to kill you.” With a small sigh, I wandered back over to her as she laid on the ground, only pausing to actually pick up my scabbard and sheath my katana. She was knocked right out, her nose visibly broken from the impact… At least she seemed to be breathing.

            I was kind enough to call an ambulance for her and, before I stepped away, I left a little note stating that if the Medici exiled her, my couch was free if she needed a place to stay or to hide. The only reason I didn’t worry about my arm being considered odd by the mass of people standing around me was the fact of parasites… Could be classified as a second one or simply part of my current, though, as I walked back to my house, people gave me a WIDE berth from that fact… At least I assumed it was that and not the fight.

            Well… Back to filling up those bottles until they send someone else after me. At least I only have three years left, but… Black Dahlia isn’t an easy individual to deal with.