Tis’ Finally Over
After the
competition, and the full season that was required for everyone to recover from
seeing Yankaka’s still unknown visage, everything calmed back down. It was a
bit of time, but eventually the end of this jump was coming to a close. It was
nice to finally relax, but I was getting bored once again and it was time to
move on before we got too comfortable… Which had probably already happened, but
still.
There was
one thing I had to take care of before the jump ended, however, as otherwise I
might not get the chance to do so in a calm, collected environment. Gathering
everyone up a day or two before the jump was planned to end, I had everyone sit
down in the house and prepare themselves. It was time to make a decision.
With
everyone present, I glanced back and forth, gathering my wit and will to say
something that I really just needed to get off my chest to everyone at once. “Good
afternoon, everyone. First off… I am sorry for leading anyone on, worrying
anyone, or otherwise being an asshole… Doesn’t make up for my actions, but I
wanted to say that to at least know I apologized. Second… There’s a story I
have been keeping to myself this entire time and I think that it is best you
know.”
That seemed
to get everyone’s attention, the sisters glancing back and forth while Bang
simply leaned back against the wall. “Well, just so you know, I personally
forgive you for your actions, Mr. Pezrin. As do the other sisters.” Celestian
was the one to speak up, the other three giving a small nod of their heads.
Yankaka was busy eating, but she simply offered a fanged smile and Bang gave me
a thumbs up. “No harm done and you have been getting a little better from what
I have seen.”
“Right, but
you really shouldn’t be forgiving me just yet. I… Well, I have done a lot of
bad things in my time. Horrible things. More than you all probably know. To put
it simply… I killed the entire population of a planet.” While that did shock
and/or surprise Yankaka and Bang, the sisters kind of gave me a look. Fia was
the one to speak up. “And? Where we come from many have done so… Exterminatus does
the same with little issue.”
With a
small sigh and a shake of my head, my hands coming to fold in front of my
chest. “That’s just it. That’s an explosive device. I killed seven billion
people… One at a time… With my hands. I saw every last face, heard every last
scream, and killed everything from men, to women, to children, to… well,
anything. I did it because I made a mistake. The mistake was killing the first
few and, because of the rules of the universe at the time, the only way to make
up for it and have it as if it never happened, was, well… To finish.” The
sisters fell silent, a heavy, discomforting pressure fell upon the room while I
gave everyone time for this to settle in.
After a few
moments, when no one spoke up, I continued. “While I can apologize, while I
feel hatred for my actions, while I can try to make up for it… I know what I
did was wrong and I had no reason to start it. As Yankaka came to find out, I
really do not like what I am becoming… I am losing my ability to feel empathy,
I kill without restraint, and the only thing keeping me sane is my vain
attempts to hold onto outdated and rotting morals that don’t even make any
sense these days considering they are helping to tear my mind apart.” While I
poured my heart out for the lot of them, as this was the time to let them know
who they were actually traveling with, they simply sat there and stared.
Bang seemed
very, very uncomfortable, Yankaka was busy eating more and at a much faster
pace, and the sisters seemed to be whispering amongst themselves. “I’m… Well, I
am reaching my limit. My mind can’t take it and I know something is going to
give eventually. Despite what you may believe, I don’t even have control of
where I am going in these jumps or what I get sometimes. I know why I jump… It’s
better than going home where I will simply be a menace and I don’t trust myself
with a spark, cause with it I lose direction and can no longer focus on the
adventure and a self-imposed line to follow. I have no control of which
universe we go to, what we get sometimes, and I have brought nothing but
torment to myself and others for the most part and I doubt that will stop until something
finally gives.”
Once I was
finished giving my edgy, heart-sinking speech, I slowly turned and moved to
step out of the house. “So, this is the place if you want to stop jumping with
me. Stay here where it is peaceful and safe… Or continue along with someone who
might snap somewhere down the road and become something completely inhuman. My
mind and soul are already past that point… Just waiting for my body to give
and, considering I can break the moon with enough effort, well… Hopefully there
is something more to being human and having morals than simply emotions and
genetics.” After that point, I left and wandered off. I honestly didn’t know
exactly where I was going, but I wanted to go somewhere private so that I could
actually have some time to myself and give them time to think.
Specifically,
I stayed away for the last few days, waiting for the jump to end. Guess I was
going to see who was staying with me once the next jump came around.
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